Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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