Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
