ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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