Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
