doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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