so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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