it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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