maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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