he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
