Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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