You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
