I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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