Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
