It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
