what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
