I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
