hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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