i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
