At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
