he puts the penis in happiness.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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