We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
