he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
So squirting runs in the family.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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