And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
