he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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