Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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