she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
