fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
