White coat. Heels.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
