So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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