I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
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