Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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