Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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