I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize