i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
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