dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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