I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
