Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
