Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize