i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize