He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
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