I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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