he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize