Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
