My brain says no but my pants say off.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize