What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
