He asked to "fluff my boner.."
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
