She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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