I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
