Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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