Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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