birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
