i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
worst night to have a conscience
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
