We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
