just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
