We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
