I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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