There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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