Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
