So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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