I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize