It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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