I think my fart just growled at me.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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