Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
only you would photoshop your dick
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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