Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
