oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
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