I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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