nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
